Good Cop: Where are you going?
Hungry Cop: I’m looking for a microwave
Good Cop: Where are you looking for a microwave?
Hungry Cop: Everywhere!
Golden Goose: Honk!
Golden Goose: Honk! Honk! Honk!
Good Cop: Where were you on the night of the 24th?
Bad Cop: We have multiple eyewitness accounts that confirm your existence as a bird. Good Cop: We also have one that seems to think you might be a weather balloon.
Bad Cop: We consider that one a statistical outlier.
Good Cop: Your mom is considered a statistical outlier.
Golden Goose: Honk!
Bad Cop: Aren’t you supposed to be the good cop?
Golden Goose: Honk! Honk! Honk!
Bad Cop: Stop Honking!
Good Cop: Stop Honking! Please.
Bad Cop: Well… that’s more like it.
Good Cop: Your mom’s more like it.
Bad Cop: What is wrong with you?!
Golden Goose: When I was a kid my parents told me that I was a duck, and not just any sort of duck, a mud duck. Do you know what it like growing up as a mud duck? Well I do, and wish I didn’t. It only got worse when my siblings grew up into beautiful swans. Fucking swan turncoats. The only bird more annoying than a sibling swan is an uppity peacock. I fucking hate peacocks!
Bad Cop: Shutup! Shutup! I wasn’t talking to you!
Golden Goose: Honk! Honk!
Hungry Cop: I guess I’ll just have to eat my lunch cold.
Good Cop: There’s a microwave in the break room.
Hungry Cop: The door’s locked.
Hungry Cop: I am so hungry right now.
Hungry Cop: I bet there is nobody as miserable as me.
Hungry Cop: Just the thought of eating it cold…
Good Cop: Maybe it will taste alright cold.
Good Cop: Some things even taste better cold.
Hungry Cop: No. Food is never better cold. Never.
Sad Cop: I think I am going to cry.
Good Cop: Where were you on the night of the 23rd?
Bad Cop: It would be a shame if something were to happen to your feathers.
Good Cop: Your mom happened to all those feathers!
Hungry Cop: Maybe we could just eat the goose?
Golden Goose: Honk!
Hungry Cop: I mean, it is a goose.
Good Cop: Your Mom’s a goose!
Hungry Cop: Really? I wonder if she’s tasty…
Bad Cop: What is wrong with you?!
Golden Goose: I remember the day when people first started noticing me. I remember it well because it was not a good day for me. It was really not a good day. You see, it was my feathers that caused the trouble. As you can probably tell just by looking, they look a bit golden. Well that shouldn’t have been a huge problem, it really shouldn’t have been, but it was. It so was. Because, because of the feathers, people started calling me a golden goose, and once they thought of me as a golden goose, well they wanted me to lay golden eggs. People are fucking idiots! I’m a male goose, I can’t lay eggs! And on top of that, why would someone just assume that just because a goose has golden-ish feathers, any eggs would be made of gold! People are fucking idiots I tell you! Idiots! Fucking Idiots ruined my life.
Bad Cop: Shutup! Shutup! I wasn’t talking to you!
Golden Goose: Honk! Honk!
Golden Goose: Honk! Honk! Honk!
Good Cop: Okay let’s try this again…
Golden Goose: Honk! Honk! Honk!
Sad Cop: I think I am going to cry.
Lagotic Moon 