Make America Great Casseroles Again

  1. Poem
  2. A Song Of Dead Fish
  3. An Open Letter To Whom It May Concern:
  4. Let Us
  5. Finders Keepers
  6. When I Was An Albatross
  7. Make America Great Casseroles Again
  8. More Softer Weapons
  9. Survey
  10. Sign If You Agree


nothing new
under the sun
under the moon
under the weather
under the sea
where it is wetter,
better, sweater, go-getter
take it from me
then give it back again
because it is mine
and sharing is caring
and I’m apathetic
so, yoink!

A Song Of Dead Fish

when I chat with a mermaid
emerging to the surface of the sea
about how no one reads poetry

she sings a song of dead fish
flopping in the minds
of the enemies of the proletariat

later, hours later,
I tell her that I used to be an albatross
but she doesn’t believe me

I can always tell, she says
and, you were never an albatross

a bat maybe, you might have been a bat
I’m not as good at recognizing mammals

An Open Letter To Whom It May Concern:

you just can’t successfully shove a unicorn
into the governor’s broom closet.

the brooms fight back!

they’ve got some sort of confederacy thing
going on with the mop lords, and besides that,
they happen to know the territory best
because, you know, broom closet.

so, whenever disposing of a unicorn,
be it Standard, American, or Mellophone,
you must place the unicorn
into a sealable plastic baggy.

add kitty litter, sawdust, skin,
coffee grounds, macaroni and cheese,
myth, love, poetry, or any material moveable
on heaven or earth that children eat.

then quickly seal the bag from all innocence, and gently stir
politically widdershins. add a pinch of salt and you’ve done well,
consider dancing. the unicorn will never dance again.

Let Us

let’s, let us, let us
let us, let us, let us
all have lettuce

and other foods to eat
2. drink
3. share

let’s, let us, let us
let us, let us, let us
all get along

like lettuce leaves
they never fight
and sometimes
are even green

It’s Not Easy Being Green
is a song

let’s, let us, let us
let us, let us, let us
all listen to songs
sung by frogs

Finders Keepers

maybe all the bad guys just want
to be good guys, but they got lost along the way
and nobody ever showed up to claim them
and really,

how do you think someone is going to turn out,
when their only source of food and companionship

is stinky child-sized pink Ninja Turtle sweatshirts
and an assortment of unmatched mittens?

When I Was An Albatross

when I was an albatross,
my wingspan was so long that
I never had to worry about

burglary, fraud, identity theft, romantic rejection,
overpopulation, government corruption, Donald Trump,

bio-warfare, terrorism, nuclear attacks, hurricanes,
tight spaces, public speaking, unicorns, clowns,

gun control, earthquakes, nuclear snacks, Netflix,
artificial intelligence, Facebook, or running out of money

and somewhere, somewhen,
across the sea, moments after the princess
kisses another frog,

the first, having hopped away anticlimactically

the prince, turned frog, turned prince,
being discovered naked and embarrassed
on the princess’s balcony

thinks back to the hour of his curse
how things might have worked out for the better
if he’d offended someone a little less traditional in their
transformational thinking

frogs are dumb,
but I could have stayed an albatross

Make America Great Casseroles Again

the powerful of this country don’t want
you to think big, because the scariest thing
in American politics

is not as agonizing as a cover letter, and
we don’t win casseroles anymore.

we just don’t!

And just so you understand,
there may be nothing in this whole wide world
as weird, kind, wonderful

as American casseroles, but
they are never going to be great again,

unless, whenever you succeed in tossing
ping pong balls into fishbowls,
at your local fair or festival, instead of sending
you home with a goldfish, swimming about
In a plastic bag full of water

that you don’t really want, or know what to do with

instead, you win a casserole!

or, at the very least,

they write a recipe in black sharpie, on the
plastic bag, when they hand you your goldfish

More Softer Weapons

the problem isn’t conflict
no! the problem isn’t war
we don’t need more love, peace
or the willpower to get along

because the problem is a problem
of resource allocation, for
not enough of the world’s fighters
have access to soft enough weapons

and yet there is no shortage, for
Nerf guns and pool noodles
line the shelves of every
toy store in America and beyond

and people are dying because
murderers, soldiers, gang members
thugs, politicians, security guards, police
terrorists, anarchists, and lawyers
aren’t being properly equipped

because foam weapons like youth, are
wasted on their target audience
and I’m not trying to convince you that
nobody has ever been murdered by a child
as that would be crazy and an outright lie

but surely you can understand that overall
our children aren’t the ones that need
Nerf guns and pool noodles on hand


What do you desire most?

◻ a political revolution

◻ superpowers

◻ immortality

◻ world peace

◻ a pony

◻ the Second Amendment

◻ wealth

◻ power

◻ fame

◻ the American Dream

◻ God

◻ religion

◻ love

◻ sex

◻ anchovies

◻ a tuna fish sandwich

Sign If You Agree

our Democracy is in trouble, again.
for decades, the original start of Donald Trump’s
tax return season, separated America from America,
It’s absolutely unconscionable.

high-risk free media and attention
around the clock, has crashed the economy.
we’ve seen part human hot air balloons
full of risky political system activists and even
a watered-down version from everyday Americans.

so who is going to ensure that the troubled times
everyday Americans deposit in corporate media, fail
to not point out the middle class, insuring both fraud and flattery?

The Constitution guarantees that any mischievous creatures
that took federally insured funds, can not engage in
human trafficking and/or the embodiment of death itself.
it is a new day for Americans. but as California describes,

“that America between America and America,
was America full of America until, America. it was America
when America was America. and not long after that,
the ballooning banks hit the American economy. home run!”

and now, thanks to magic and archery, millions of corporate donors
have filled our political system with helium, drowning out
the voices of mythical beasts and voters, in an echoing economy
of squeaky squeaky speeches. and while it is certainly amusing
to hear our elected representatives talk funny, one thing is clear.
it’s beyond time for unicorns, dragons and griffins to have a voice in
American politics.

releasing tax returns is a crucial way for reestablishing
a viable community of tax returns in the wild.

if we can pass these belief systems
before the ears of the multitudes, California can steer America
away from the flood of shadows unleashed by huge portions
of our economy. that’s why we need YOUR help!

SIGN THE PETITION and nudge your state legislators
to help lead the nation in the fight of all fights!